On Dating: Should You Cut Him Off or Give It Time?

Upon first meeting a guy, should you know immediately if you’re into him or not? Or is it possible that you could grow to like a guy you initially had no feelings for?

It goes without saying that our generation is generally impatient. With a myriad of social media platforms at our disposal through various forms of technology, we’re used to receiving and communicating information instantly. We have to text, tweet, Facebook and Google the latest celebrity and world news, and when we can’t find the answer to something, we grow restless. This restlessness can also be applied to dating, and when we ladies don’t feel that “rom-com spark” (AKA sexual attraction) with a man during that first interaction, most of us move on to the next. And that’s a valid form of action to take when that essential emotion is lacking. After all, dating in its simplest form is about kissing a whole bunch of frogs before finding your sexy, hilarious and highly intellectual prince.

But what if you kinda-sorta have feelings for a man, but you’re ambivalent about you guys’ situation and the thought of anything long-term with him in the near future seems damn near inconceivable? Should you wait to see if it materializes into something more, or cease all interaction immediately to avoid leading him on? Because a lot of us need to know everything at all times and yearn for instant gratification, the latter seems like a more logical and safer option. But the idea of a woman waiting for a man to prove himself romantically, intellectually and sexually to her over an extended period of time is one that, to a lot of us, seems foreign. Now, don’t get me wrong. There are several millennial women out there who don’t mind waiting to see what happens, just like there are some middle-aged women who despise the guessing game and would cut a guy loose almost instantaneously if there were no physical attraction present. But maybe we should venture out into the unknown more often and see what could be.

Waiting to see if you’ll eventually have feelings for someone is risky. You’re essentially planting the seed for romance or some kind of relationship (whether it be strictly physical or not) even if in the end, nothing grows. In other words, you risk having his feelings intensify while yours stay the same. You also risk wasting valuable time that could’ve been spent exploring other options (although many of us date multiple people simultaneously, but we’ll save that discussion for a later time). But ultimately, that’s what dating is: a risk. Going on a second date with a guy you’re on the fence about isn’t the worst thing in the world. You could actually discover something new about him that you didn’t know before, which in turn could lead to that “spark.” Or these new discoveries could have the opposite effect and make you guys’ incompatibility that much more apparent. Either way, you’re LEARNING. And that’s all it comes down to, really. Dating allows you to learn what you can and cannot tolerate in a relationship and gets you in tune with the qualities you want your future lover to possess. It also brings forth your own qualities, however good or bad they may be.

So take that risk and if it doesn’t work out, go off into that big ass sea, because there are definitely more delectable fish in it.

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